to love the darkness, say it first
i.e. things you cannot have and looking them dead in their gone eyes
that thing you wanted, partnership sturdy as earth, the gaze of beloved, their witness, their eyes. watch it go.
steady in gaze. steely as Wednesday Addams is upon so much as wayward spiders, watch it go. your daughters you wanted to bring, to raise, to send where they go ((because daughters have secrets)), watch. if your eyes are dark it is that much more easy
to bear. your dream that someone of honor and trust, with whom to beget daughters unto the world. those dreams go. eggs fail. it is the way of worlds.
the way of words is: watch. look upon the fading. a black of fear not without glitter. it is severe at the top where gray turns to silver. oh, how the face caves with lines and the failure of fat, countdown to menopause. look upon The Demise as you looked upon leaves, leaf, and trees, with love, enthralled. eyes wide open. old or young, it comes.
it is true you are unflappable, make it so.
fyi i am fine, it’s just, i seem to have developed this belief, apropos of (??) that how your fate will unfold will depend upon your stance and if you look at the thing right in the dead of its gone eyes, it’s going to be good, unfold for you goodly, you will be well in its counter-recognition, you will earn safe passage. just, look. look at the thing. dead dreams. the utter fucking humiliation of senescence. whatever it is. is what i say to my selves.